Sunday, February 7, 2010

Day 1 begins on Day 38

[Sweats: The crutch of fatties]

Let's just say that it got bad. Three years of Chana and I doing little in the way of living in a controlled manner led us to both gain weight. It never helps that I'm, even at my smallest, usually too big to be accurately weighed on a normal scale. 

So you put a couple of things together: 
a) We were living in a small apartment with no kitchen and a fridge just big enough to hold snacks and such
b) We are in love and part of that is going out and having fun with little thought to consequence
c) We both love food and are not the biggest fans of exercise
...and you've got a recipe for just this sort of thing,

I wish I had better self control. I wish it wasn't so easy for me to pack on the weight. I wish a lot of this was just shit I didn't have to deal with. Some people get away with having great metabolisms. Why not me? But that's neither here nor there. Truth is, I'm lazy, I like to eat, and pizza tastes good.

So yeah, it's an ongoing struggle.

So where does that leave us today? Well about a month ago, I was that guy in the picture above. I couldn't comfortably wear any of my jeans anymore. I was living in sweat pants and I was eating whatever the hell I wanted to. Also, I was over 390 lbs.

[Jesus. How did it get to that?]

Now I don't claim to ever be the smallest guy in the world. Hell, a healthy weight for me is 300 or even 280. I'm not small and was never meant to be so, but I shouldn't be this big.

So what's the solution? Well, it's simple. We have our own home now, our own kitchen, and it's time we utilize them for the betterment of our existences. It's time to start living healthier, eating right, hell even exercising.

Step 1. The Sprint

Master Cleanse to get things off on the right foot, and that's precisely where we are today. I've been cleansing for 38 days now and have lost a great 40 lbs. It's not something I like talking about, because frankly I feel like an asshole, like a failure for gaining so much of it in the first place. I mean, fuck, this isn't the first time I've had to drastically change the way I live because shit got away from me. So the last thing I need to do is to start taking credit for fucking up and trying to fix it.

Maybe when this is over, maybe when John's wedding is behind us, maybe after we're living the life we're supposed to, maybe then I'll feel proud. For now, I've got a long road ahead.

[It's a start. And yes, I'm wearing jeans again.]

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